The Courage To Be Disliked.


I was listening to an episode of Teenager Therapy three nights ago and this book was mentioned. I got more interested in reading it after listening to Gael’s understanding of the book.

Have you read the The Courage To Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga?

No. I don’t think so. And if you have, congrats. Keep reading!


Basically, the book is a Japanese analysis of the work of the 19th century psychologist Alfred Adler who established that happiness lies in the hands of each human individual and does not depend on past traumas.

The book unfolds through exchanges between a philosopher and a student. The philosopher explains to his pupil that each human being exists to determine his own life irrespective of past experiences, doubts, and the expectation of others.

Over the course of five conversations, the philosopher helps him take control of his life and happiness.
From my view, here’s what I learned:

1. Your Past Does Not Determine Your Future.
     It’s quite true that most of us are still trying to let go of past traumas and we make ourselves believe that we can only grow with a style of life(by being either pessimistic or optimistic) but Adler doesn’t believe that’s a fixed point of our character.

He defended the view that we can change who we are at any given moment. You have to believe that something different can happen in order to break old patterns.

2. Accept You Can’t Please Everyone.
     To say yes to everything and everyone is setting yourself up for a fall. If you’re doing what you’re doing in life to be liked and avoid being disliked then you’re not living in freedom.

If you’re able to do things you believe in, no matter what others think of you then you can grow and confidently say you have the courage to be disliked.


3. Don’t Allow Anyone Make You Feel Inferior.
   Stick to your ideals. Dismantle any fakeness that you used to prop your happiness. Don’t doubt your confidence. You’ll be fine.

If you’re not a sucker for reading books, you can listen to it here and any other audio book you’d love to have.

Don’t be scared to change your perspective on life!
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